Tinky-Winky and the foster child

Tinky-Winky and I have a little girl staying with us this week. She's not technically a foster child in that the government hasn't intervened (yet), but she kind of is in that she got dropped off with a complete stranger because none of the people who have a legal position in her life are available to take care of her. Anyway.

The thing is, little girls love Tinky-Winky, and Tinky-Winky does not like little girls. So Little Girl is always trying to play with Tinky-Winky, and Tinky-Winky is always running away from her. Most of the time I intervene, but as soon as my back is turned, like when I go have a shower, Little Girl is harassing Tinky-Winky again. Her Majesty is not amused.

Also, Little Girl doesn't really care to go for walks, and she walks really, really slow. We have to walk the dog regardless, and it's good for her since she's overweight and she insists she wants "seven big dogs". But it annoys Her Majesty. Plus today is horribly windy, so Tinky-Winky chose to come back home without pooping. Oh well. She didn't really eat last night anyway.

So, Her Majesty is out of sorts. She hasn't slept on my bed since Little Girl got here. Well, at least she hasn't slept on Little Girl's bed either. That would annoy me.

The moral of this story is, I don't think Tinky-Winky is in favour of having foster children in this house. I guess she'll be really unimpressed when the little autistic twins come sleep over. Still, I believe in putting people ahead of dogs, but this is her house and her life, not just mine. People who can't get along with her will not continue being welcome in my house. After all, she was here before them and she'll be there long after they're gone. Loyalty goes both ways.

Have you got a shar pei?

I'm not looking for another dog. Tinky-Winky is in excellent health and will be my only dog as long as she lives. But, once upon a time, I joked that when she's gone I'm gonna get a shar pei, because it looks surly and not cute at all, and it feels like petting a toothbrush; that way I'll finally be able to walk my dog without being interrupted every few years by someone who thinks it's adorable.

That being said, I've heard that shar peis smell and are prone to various ailments, particularly of the eyes. So if anyone reading this has, or had, a shar pei, I'd like to hear about your experiences with them.

Kthxbai.

So you're my best friend, eh?

From time to time, I start to worry that Tinky-Winky is going deaf. So to test it, I call her.

Yesterday, I tried calling her several times. Outside the house. Inside the house. When she was busy. When she was not busy. When she was alert and when she was bored.

Nothing.

She never once turned her head to look at me.

Oh no! My dog is deaf! Whatever shall I do?

Oh well. Being dinner time, I took some cheese out of the fridge.

Immediately, the dog came galloping from the other end of the house. Deaf, eh? She's not the least bit deaf. She can hear cheese for miles. Turns out she was just ignoring me the whole day.

Sigh...


At bedtime, it had gotten quite cold, so I put my heating pad under the sheets to warm up my spot before bed. Then I went to brush my teeth and so on.

When I came back, the dog was lying on the bed... right on top of my heating pad.

Sigh...


Frankly, if this is my best friend, I'm glad I don't have very many friends. Or to draw a less cynical conclusion, she's lucky she's a dog, because as a human she'd be a real bitch. Then again, "cynical" comes from the Greek "kunos" meaning "dog", so many cynicism is the best way to look at it.

Oh well. I still love you, bitchy-witchy. (Yes, that is actually one of the nicknames I call her.)

Maybe her heart grew three sizes?

If you've been following this blog (and at least 29 of you are), you're aware by now that Tinky-Winky used to have a problem with aggression, but she's getting better all the time. On Sunday we were walking off-leash in the afternoon, seeing as the Bylaw guy got fed up with the stupidity of our town council and is no longer doing anything about the dogs, or anything else, that I can tell. The town council doesn't want to enforce anything because it's either "too much work" or "contrary to our northern culture". Anyway, the fact that the mayor and four out of seven councillors are morons is not the point, but thanks to their stupidity, we can now walk off-leash whenever we want. In fact, there are more off-leash dogs downtown in the middle of the day than there used to be before we hired the bylaw guy.

Have I mentioned yet that the mayor and four out of seven councillors are morons?

So back to my story, we were walking off-leash in broad daylight, and coming opposite on the trail was the town hall clerk (probably the last person in town who believes in the dog bylaw) and her two on-leash dogs, Dexter (a pug) and Freddie (a Boston terrier, or French bulldog - I can never remember). Tinky-Winky has previously done some social peeing with Dexter. Freddie is new. Both have a habit of freaking out at oncoming traffic when on leash.

So. Freddie, Dexter and their person face off with Tinky-Winky on the trail. I tried to call her back. She thought about it, while Freddie and Dexter barked at her, and their person pondered her next moved. Luckily, she's not the kind to freak out when dogs start barking, and also she's aware that her dogs have behavioural problems, so she doesn't let them go after someone else's dog and then blame the other person. So, nobody panicked.

Tinky-Winky went off the trail and around the dogs peacefully, sniffed their tracks, and waited for me.

Attagirl!!!


Today, as we were exiting the building for our evening walk, someone else was walking in carrying laundry and followed by two off-leash dogs. Or more specifically, if I'm not mistaken, two off-leash bitches. We've met them before, though I don't know their names. Sounds Hawaiian, or something. One is an adult, somewhat reminiscent of an Irish setter but a bit taller and bulkier, and a different coat. She's had her nose bit by Tinky-Winky before. The other one is a puppy, and not a very old one. I think maybe four months. She's about the same height as Tinky-Winky already, but lanky, like the big one. Unlike the big one, though, she's normally smarter than to tangle with my Wolverine.

Anyway. We're exiting the building as they're entering, so we're all in the air space between the two doors together. The big one followed the person into the building. The puppy, for some reason, decided to get all over Tinky-Winky. Seriously all over her. She stuck her nose in Tinky-Winky's ears, smelled her lips repeatedly, smelled her butt, with lots of body contact. Tinky-Winky was sitting and I had my hand on her collar, but I actually wasn't restraining her. She didn't even look mad. I have seriously never seen her half that close to another dog. Even when she doesn't fight, she'll still bite the nose off any dog who tries to sniff her butt, let alone her ears.

After a while she did give one half-arsed little snap, not even close to hitting the puppy. The puppy's person pulled her away, but then the big dog must have thought something like "oh, you're sniffable now?" So she ran back out the door to sniff Tinky-Winky, too. And Tinky-winky didn't freak out.

There is no way Tinky-Winky doesn't freak out at a hyper, large, probably female dog jumping all over her. But she didn't.


I think my dog is a lot less messed-up than everyone thinks.

Predacon: terrorize

Recently, Tinky-Winky has taken to sleeping on my bed of her own free will. In the past she would usually sleep under the bed, or only sleep on the bed when I put her there. The last few weeks, she waits for me to make the hide-a-bed, then she jumps up and sprawls out right in the middle. And of course, laterally across the bed rather than length-wise so we could both lie down comfortably.

Two nights ago, apparently, she was in a hurry, so she jumped up when I still had two blankets to add. Hmmmm... Oh well. I put the next blanket over her and waited for her to crawl out.

And waited.

Her Majesty sat up, still under the blanket, and turned her head this way and that, but didn't move her butt.

I waited a while longer.

She still didn't move her butt.

Fine.

I pulled the blanket off her head. Immediately she lay down again and went to sleep. Laterally across the bed, of course. She looked adorable.

Later, as I tried to fit my fat arse onto the tiny sliver of bed she left me, she put her little paws over her little nose and squeezed.

It looked even more adorable.

That's funny. She could crush all the bones in my hand with her teeth. She could rip out my trachea before I could even blink. And she looks completely adorable while preventing me from getting into my own bed.

We think we're so smart, but really dogs are playing us all for the fools we are.

Things I love about my shiba

Shiba Shedding Time.

As far as I know, I'm the only shiba owner who loves Shiba Shedding Time. If you're not a shiba's personal assistant, you may not be aware that shibas blow their coat twice a year, spring and fall; and as they have a double coat, this entails a considerable amount of hair. Shiba Shedding Time typically lasts for several weeks, during which you will be vacuuming at least twice a day. And when you think you're done vacuuming, you turn around and you can't even tell where you've vacuumed and where you haven't.

Most shiba people whose blogs I've read (I don't read any currently because they displeased me) have some kind of super-aggressive grooming tool to try to rip off most of the old coat in three brushings. That sounds like exactly not what a shiba would like. I, on the other hand, have just a simple brush. I brush Tinky-Winky very slowly, for a few minutes a day. Usually I only get to do one side per session, because she lies down on her side for brushing, and when she's had enough she stands up and walks away. I find the best way is to brush gently against the coat at first. This will lift up clumps of the undercoat that are ready to come out. Then I focus on those areas, brushing against the hair to lift it and then with the hair to remove it.

You see, Tinky-Winky is not a cuddly dog. She only likes to be petted in her own time, which is generally while she's waking up in the morning. It suits Her Majesty that I should get up quickly and then attend her for twenty minutes while she eases out of sleep. That being said, she didn't start this tradition until we had been together more than three years; in fact we were together 2 1/2 years before she ever willingly showed me her belly. But when she's shedding, she's actually quite willing to be brushed. It's the only time when I can go to her and start handling her and she won't walk away in seconds.

So, I love Shiba Shedding Time because I get to spend much more time petting my shiba than any other time of year. (And also, I keep the dead hair, then some day I can have it spun and knit myself a... toque, probably. If I wanted a sweater, I should have got a bigger dog.)

Oh no! My dog is autistic!

A couple months ago I scored Tinky-Winky's dream job, which is anything with short hours and home every night. From my point of view, I'm making f-all for money, but she doesn't know that. Other than that though, the job is awesome, particularly the part with the eight-year-old autistic boys. They're very awesome.

But then, I noticed something about autism.

• Lack of connection with others


• Violent outbursts


• Obsessive behaviours


• Lack of typical play behaviour


• Unusual thinking and communication patterns


• Normal intelligence

Ok, not all autistic people have all these traits, but you know who does? Tinky-Winky. Even as a puppy, Tinky-Winky didn't play normal dog games. She still doesn't. She doesn't interact with other dogs and she's rarely affectionate with me, and only on her own terms. She freaks out and beats up little dogs. She spends hours shaping her doggy bed, unless you redirect her. She looks for me in the woods by sight and not by smell. She's not at all stupid, she's just really odd.

Oh no! My dog is autistic!

Hahaha, I crack me up. Is there such a thing as autism in dogs? Is she just one strange little dog?

Well, who knows. I like her. I like my autistic kids. My ex-husband has Asperger's, and my stalker probably does too. I guess that's just the kind of people I attract.